Sunday, October 11, 2015

What If?

It's been a long time since I've posted to this site. I don't think anyone still comes here, which is more than likely why I chose to post here. My heart over the years has been broken, repaired then broken once more. I finally thought I was over him. I mean in reality we dated only a few short months but the memory will be with me a lifetime.
We both have moved on, and in less than a week he will marry another.
I wish him happiness and all the best, but I still wonder...what if?

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Only Thing to Do is Jump Over the Moon...Leap of Faith

I'm scared...but I'm going forward anyway. I've been in Europe for almost five months and it was time for me to make a decision. I have VERY LIMITED funds and I need a job. So going back to the states would be priority number I can work there. So my next decision was to either go to LA (which I've been talking about for over 10 years) or to the devil I know ...NYC.

NYC has the best options. I have a few places where I could begin working right away,make some decent money.  BUT when I left the states I knew it was time for a major shift in my life.
So, that lead me to LA. I have enough money to support me for a few months. Get a job, car and start auditioning.

Yet neither one of them felt right...but one place just feels like "home"...Amsterdam. However, I am not dutch, know two people there and have immigration issues. Yet, this feeling just won't leave me alone. I had an offer to go and live with a guy a year ago. I turned it down because I just met him, and living with a stranger in another country spur of the moment. I constantly think...what if?

Then one day while walking around the canals...I stopped by a shop. I went it, and it was a lovely shop but nothing caught my eye, EXCEPT this card:
I have it on my desk and I'm going to frame it. I look at this card daily. And one day I just made the decision:No more living in the "what if"...and I'm going for it. Granted, the gentleman & I still see each other, and he has become a good friend; and now he will be my business partner.

My newest venture is my biggest leap of faith yet, as I am doing things I have never done before: budgets, business plans, visa/immigration, and so much more. BUT I know I am onto something here. I've found an apartment to sublet for a couple of months while I address my visa issues. I've told my family and few friends...and they think I have solid idea, and not crazy for doing something that I never planned on. Ironically, it is so freaking simple: tours for women. However, with a Kit Williams you know they will be a blast.
Part of me wonders why no one else has done it, but maybe they have, but what they didn't have is Kit Williams.

To quote Jonathan Larson's character Maureen from the musical RENT (yes my life will ALWAYS be linked to a musical in some way, it is my passion):

I gotta get outta here!
It's like I'm being tied to the hood of
a yellow rental truck, bein' packed in with fertilizer and fuel oil, pushed over a cliff by a suicidal Mickey Mouse!
I gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta,
gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta,
gotta, gotta find a way…
To jump over the moon.
Only thing to do is jump over the moon.

Cross your fingers, say a prayer and wish me well. Happy Holidays.
Meow for Now,


Monday, December 15, 2014

Depression, Survival and Life oh my...Things Aren't Always as they "Seem"

This isn't going to be a pretty or pleasant post. It will be an honest I learned that a woman not much older than myself, who "seemed" to have it all died today. She committed suicide. I don't judge her for that because that was the only solution she could find at the time. Tita Branch was 45 years old, beautiful african american woman, and co-founder of one of my favorite hair products, Miss Jessie's. Actually the first hair products I tried as I was making the transition to "natural" hair care.

As I read about her death...well I understood her pain. Perhaps too well. I can honestly admit, more often than times 3-4 times a month I consider taking my own life. I feel lost, alone, scared, and useless. I'm not married, no children, and I'm an actress, so let's be honest I'm often unemployed than I am ever employed.  I cry myself to sleep and sometimes the first thing in the morning.

I also think of the late Robin Williams, he too was battling the depression demon. And I get one point he was literally on top of the world. Hell they even had dolls that looked like him. Hit tv shows, movies, hosting awards shows...all in all his life "seemed" perfect. No one understood what all these accolades cost him personally. They just wanted him to be "funny". Some say his suicide was because of his last show (The Crazy Ones) wasn't a success. I don't know if it's true or not, BUT I too can understand how everyone wants or expects something from you and when it doesn't work out how you or they wished... you can feel like a failure.

Depression is a disease, as is mental illness. Sure you can make jokes about it to make it easier to talk about, just TALK ABOUT IT. You have a friend who always seems happy, but something is a little off. ASK them. So many , don't want to get involved or be nosy.

People are dying because they feel alone. It just breaks my heart.
I just had this on my heart today,

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Being Brave is easy, Acting Brave... THAT is Hard--Hmmm

It is so easy for me to "Be Brave"...mainly because people tell me how more often than not how "brave" I am? And why is that I wonder? I'm not any different than anyone else. I don't save lives like a doctor or fireman, I don't cure cancer or diseases like a scientist. I can''t even begin to calculate the square root of a gazillion billion trillion dollars. Hell I don't even know if that is a real number.

I do know this... I have a dream and NO one will stop me.
Last year,  I went to Europe for about a month. Afterwards, when I returned home, I told people...I'm going to go live in London next summer, study at  RADA, and find me a husband in the Europes. (yes I DID say "Europes")

Some laughed, some said nothing,  and others were supportive. Hell to be honest, I had no idea "how".  I just knew it WOULD happen. Belief, faith and the grace of God. And when it did I was leaving my apartment, New York and would make it work. People thought I was brave to leave my job, my comfort zone etc, what they didn't know is that I was miserable, scared and needed to try this because I did not like the person I was becoming.

Fast forward almost four and a half months...

Now I've done these things (minus the husband, but that will come). And I am low on funds, and have enough to go back to NYC and get a place until I can land a job. OR I can stay until my visa runs out,but then I have no cushion when/if I return to NYC. And I really am getting a bit too damn old to be couch surfing. OR I have the opportunity to move to another European town and start my own side business. So I do have options, just not a lot of money, nor time, Talk about feeling hard pressed. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

So now here I am at the next crossroad, as this is a decision that could affect the rest of my life...and I have no idea which one it will be it is time once more to not only be brave, but ACT brave as well.

Thank God I'm an ACTor.  Crossing fingers. now go....

Meow for now

Friday, November 14, 2014

Coming together and falling apart...only to come back together again

Hey y'all...I know, I know...this was to be a blog chocked full of my adventures and such...but while living life I have not found time to post about it. is hard and more often than not it sucks to be in a foreign land without a job, a handful of friends and more often people telling me no than I ever heard in NYC. Main reason...I don't have a work visa. The alternatives...
1. Go back to the states. (the one that makes the most sense and at least I can work)
2. Get married. (that is another story in itself)
3. Find a job that will sponsor me. (That one is my favorite. Because all my friends/family in the states say it like it's nothing)
4. Come up with a spare $250,000.00 and have myself declared a business...sad to say I'm about $235,000.00 short...maybe it's time to start a kick starter.

When you are an actor people either get your struggle or they don't ...there isn't an in between. And mostly there is just a lot of "why don't you just get a real job". Over the last 3 years alone I've invested over $20,000.00 in this profession in acting classes, putting up my own show ect. If I was to think how much money over the last 10...well I'd have a heart attack then kick myself for not going to med school as I could be a heart doctor by now and could repair myself.

As of now I want to stay AT LEAST until my student visa expires in Feb, and if all possible I'd love to work 20 hours per week...but at this rate I'd settle for 10 hours.
Nonetheless, this has been great for travel and getting my life together. I have my One woman show reel thanks to Ross Resnick, my comedy hosting reel that I did myself and this week I plan on working on a dramatic reel...this way I at least I have something to show the agents, bookers etc both here and NYC. It's a damn shame it has taken me so long to get something as simple as this together...but better late than never. Take a look:

The Comedy/Hosting Reel


My One woman show reel...This Kitty Has Claws


While typing this blog entry I had a that could lead to me being able to work here, without breaking the law. Ill be damned. So I called the American Embassy who have sent me to the Brits. You see I'm here on a student visa BUT not a full time student, yet there are rules in place that as a student I should be allowed to work up to 10 hours per week. Now that may not sound like much but it IS rent. I can't believe how I missed this loophole. Oh yeah...prob because I didn't update my blog or drink wine. A perfect combo if you ask me.
Wish me luck and cross your fingers because this Kitty needs a job!!!
Meow for now,
YEA!!!! I might can stay a few more months!!!!

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Oh My Gooodness..RADA and London

My goodness y'all I don't even know where to start..except with God is good and I a blessed. I moved to London on Sunday to begin a short term acting program at RADA (Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts) far all I can say is AMAZING everything and everyone is wonderful. I never thought my life could be so wonderful...from meeting an amazing and nice guy and now RADA. Not sure how long I will be here but enjoying every minute. However I do miss NYC. Well in particular I miss a certain someone, but he is even more amazing as he doesn't pressure me and he also understands me and my career. AND he is NOT an actor..go figure. Now if I could only figure out a way where we could make a decent amont of money and live in the same country at the same time.
London is beyond anything I could have imagined. I even took pics my first day of school.

Friday, June 27, 2014

Well Hell...things are a changing....and MAMA IS BACK...kinda

Hold on to your hats as things are changing in an instant...but This Kitty Has Claws will be back in NYC and better than ever. However there will be some changes....first I will be doing some traveling and you KNOW that I will be sharing it all with you.
Here's all the social media ways to follow:
twitter account: @TKHClaws  
Instagram:TKHClaws .
Facebook: KittyHasClaws
Tons of pics, videos and I just wanted to give you a heads up that a change is coming..August/September 2014...Kitty is Coming.....
Are you ready? Well GET READY!!!!
Meow for now